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Home > Features > Dr. Mario Should Not Be Trusted. Here Is Why.

Dr. Mario Should Not Be Trusted. Here Is Why.

Kyle Wilson by Kyle Wilson
21 January 2020
in Features
Dr. Mario
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Dr. Mario is quite possibly one of the worst medical professionals in video gaming, and here’s why. 

In the original Dr. Mario title, he and Nurse Toadstool’s unorthodox experimentations lead to an outbreak of the tri-color virus which he is forced to rectify using Megavitamins. You guessed it: Dr. Mario invented these Megavitamins to combat the tri-color virus. Ignoring the block-breaking puzzle game mechanics, this is still problematic.

Firstly, we need to address the fact that Mario was conducting medical experiments on sentient viruses. This is not only irresponsible but clearly done without proper forethought, as the outbreak quickly develops into a dangerous situation. So how does Mario deal with this problem? He throws giant pills at it, and more often than not, the wrong pills. The lack of situational analysis and sheer ignorance of any other method of treatment is worrying.

There is also the fact that Mario seems to believe his PhD is applicable to more than one medical practice. A Pharmaceutical Scientist and a Pharmacist belong to different fields. Not to mention the other medical practices he carries out throughout his career.

Would you really trust an unlicensed man with a stethoscope? Even if it is Dr. Mario…

Secondly… Vitamins, mega or not, are not how you combat viruses. In recent years, there have been claims that vitamins can help prevent viral infections, particularly Vitamin C and D, but these claims are largely unsupported. Business Insider, the NHS, and Harvard Health Publishing have shown little support to these claims. Of course, Vitamin C is good for you but the negative side effects of a dose high enough far outweigh the symptoms of the virus.

Thankfully (?), Dr. Mario seems to have no concern for dosage as he pulls an endless supply of Megavitamins from his magical medical bag.

If this wasn’t enough to convince you, Shigeru Miyamoto himself has implied that Mario is unlicensed. This makes sense, given that one of his alternate costumes in Super Smash Bros has the nickname “unlicensed Doctor”. 

What self-respecting medical professional wears a black overcoat, Dr. Mario?

Mario isn’t the only awful medical professional in video games. Dr. Zed from the Borderlands Series instantly jumps to mind, for example. But why is Mario still the worst? Because it’s Mario.

Mario games are appropriate for all ages. He appeals to kids who might not be as clued-up on medical methods as adults who play the games which other awful doctors appear. Mario turns the comforting white overcoat and head-lamp into a symbol of drug abuse and sloppy treatment. Mario may be smiling while he throws another pill at you, but behind that moustache is a deranged man with severe delusions.

Smash Bros Ultimate Adds New Ways To Beat Up Dr. Mario

This discussion was wholly inspired by the recent news that Super Smash Bros Ultimate is getting another six DLC fighters after Byleth’s addition from Fire Emblem: Three Houses. I was curious about whether we deserved any more Dr. Mario characters, but… I can’t, with a good conscience, give my support to such unprofessionalism. 

Interested in all the new Super Smash Bros Ultimate DLC fighters? Here’s all we know so far about Byleth. Unfortunately, there isn’t much news on the other six.

Keep up to date with Gamezo on our twitter, here. 

Kyle Wilson

Kyle Wilson

I like writing about video games and drinking tea, but the kettle's boiling.

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